A bad day

Wow, almost one year I didn't touch my blog, what happen to my blog, still nobody interest it, nevermind it's ok. Blog just a place to let me express anything.

" Kit, don't write at blog or note, try to talk with me. " 

Eh? Suddenly it comes out from my mind. 

Morning

- Uncle as a leader of bus drivers scold me due to sit beside with my girl.

- " Kau agama apa? Islam k? " 

" Nak kahwin x? Jika xnk kahwin jangan duduk sama-sama. "

Then I answered, " Yes, I'm Islam."

Uncle raised his voice, " kau tau hukum x? Kenapa xkahwin? "

" Xmampu lg."

" Mcm ni kau jgn duduk sama2 gn perempuan, pak cik xsuke ni . "

- In that time, I really lost my mood. My mind, "again?" .

- It is a guidance, I know.

Allahuakbar.

Afternoon

- Class at DK 9 and 4.

- Observe my girl, what she has done.

- Too aggresive till catch attention from other guys.

- Mood lost again, suddenly my mind come out many things.

" Should I make the uncle feel guilty? "

" Should I revenge? "

- Really admire to my lecturer, Dr Rozmie, he is pro in teaching, patient anytime.

- Finish class 1st person come out, walk with no mood, walk and selawat together. Alhamdulillah.

Night

- Nasi putih ayam kunyit delicious.

- Want to study, but still play game, addicted, hard to control, I try my best, insyaallah.

- Argue with my girl. My girl always try to leave me. She just feel pity and stay with me. No more trust from she anymore, just left sympathic feeling to me.

- Game ruins my life but I still play it, I'm a gamer.

- I still stubborn, try to change, but still the same, as she say, " u ni mmg xmatang, mcm budak-budak, perangai masih xberubah, sy dah bg u byk peluang tp u masih sama. "

- I just want to show off, really? Really disappointed, I never think like that before. I really believe Allah, He helps me too much. Alhamdulillah, just sometimes I didn't appreciate it. " Ya Allah, forgive me. "

How to sleep?  Now almost 4 a.m. But my class ) 8 am.

I'm really sad. Ya Allah ! 

Sabar~

哇～好久没动华语了，我想字体也变得一堆‘屎’，每天不是英文就是马来文，担心久而久之不会怎样用华语了。
哈！第一次在我的部落格用华语来‘涂鸦’，感觉还不错，想写什么就写什么，不用管怎样正确地应用词汇，只要看得明白我要表达什么，就没问题了！

忍？我应该做到了吧～但是我还是认为不够，需要再加倍一点.....
让？我应该还没做到吧～但是我会尽量去学，需要一点时间....
谦？我应该没学会吧～但是我会尽量减少，需要学会怎样多交流一点...
和？我应该已经做到了～但是我会尽量减少它的代价，需要变通一点...



这四个字，哪个比较难做到？


我认为， 忍 ！！
要忍，才有 让，谦，和 ！！
忍，真的很难做到！ :'(

Mad

She's starin' at me
I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it?s I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we?re fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won?t let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

And it gets me upset
Girl when you?re constantly accusing
Askin' questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain't the way that love is supposed to go

Whoa, what happened to workin' it out?
We've fall into this place
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/n/ne,,yo-lyrics/mad-lyrics.html )
Where you ain't backin' down and I ain't backin' down
So what the hell do we do now?
It's all for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won?t let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

Oh, baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
Perfect, perfect, oh oh
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything?s all right between us
Before we go to sleep
Baby, we're gonna be happy, oh

Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no


 *Ne-yo-- Mad

Angry!

Juz now wake up, suddenly my mind flash out something what she talk with me yesterday, then I think I'm very unstable now. So I choose to write here to cool down myself.

Juz that thinking, it can hurt me so much, really, yesterday I didn't realise it.

"I ask I can't get it, I'm the nearest I can't get it, I'm the most of care to her I can't get it, BUT the people, who can get it by accidentally or purposely. I lost many times. I'm loser. Always let other people get what I want 1st, I can't accept it, it's hurt, really hurt. "

Give an example of my thinking, it ruins my mind.

A: Kit, what happen to u? Why so angry?

Kit: I don't know, really don't know, don't ask me again.

A: Relax, Kit. Share with me slowly.

Kit: Ok,bro. Bro, I juz can't get what I want.

A: What u want, bro?

Kit: A thing I know I impossible can get it, but why she can do it.

A: Oh? Impossible?

Kit: Ya, sensitive. I don't care I can get it or not, the most I care is she need to learn how to behave herself. Hmm,,how to say, I can't think now, very very……

A: Relax, bro…

Kit: Arghhh!!!

A: Try to talk with her.

Kit: Sure, I will talk with her…

End…

This thing repeat and repeat in my mind. Before she know me I don't care how many times I lose it and her past, now after I know her, I should get it 1st. Am I greedy? Haha, maybe~ I try I try…Kit, relax~ok?

Hope can~

Berdosa with me,but if do that with other ppl xberdosa k?

Can't write more~

To be continue……

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Why?

Why I like to eat…?

Why I like to help…?

Why I like to take care…?

Why I like to test…?

Why I like to disturb…?

Why I like to sleep…?

Why I like to say…?

Why I like to make…?

Why I like to enjoy…?

Why I like to sing…?

Why I like to dance…?

Why I like to laugh…?

Why I like to talk…?

Why I like to walk…?

Why…why…why…

The most---why I can't reach it is,

Why I can't make everything perfect…?

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Quiz?

Wow! A bit surprise when my lecturer prepared some quiz to us, maybe just me.

I didn't prepare anything and not ready at all, I forget about it, if I'm not wrong, lecturer got mentioned it before.

4 questions quite easy, but I still got careless mistake. :(

Luckily, I still remember some theory although it is learned before 1 month semester break.

Everyone started study. I'm still finding my study mood.

Everyone stressed. I'm also stressed here, because I can't find anyone, who like me (not like to study at all).

I can't find a mutual thinking or understanding friends here.

Why?

Maybe I'm too quiet.....

*This day is bad mood for Isa, one of my classmate. Wish he can cool down himself.

TIRED Tired tired....

Sleep 2 hours. It's actually not sleep, maybe it call nap. But I took it too long,so let it be sleep.

First time I sleep in noon time. I don't like to sleep in noon. If I sleep in noon, that's mean something wrong to me. For other people, sleep in noon is normal, especially they are active in morning or not enough sleep yesterday night, but not me. I'm very unhappy or sad, I sleep to let my mind cool down if she can't help me.

I'm tired not because of :

- not enough sleep.

- not enough body energy.

- not enough spirit.

I'm tired because of :

-I'm too worry her, but I got some disappointment from her.

-I'm too control her, everything happen to her I want to know, but I don't like myself because if the situation change, I will feel the guy so annoy.

-I'm too concern her, everyday make sure she is healthy and happy, but I can't find my happiness. I know how to give happiness to other people, but I don't know how to make myself happy, really.

*I always lose.